


Almost Lovers

by simpleandpure22



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3924760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleandpure22/pseuds/simpleandpure22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik always wonders what he is to Jonas. He's sure that they are more than friends. But what are they exactly?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dortmundbvbbabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/gifts).



> I wanted to write something about Erik's first Bundesliga goal, and today is his birthday, so I wanted to sort of combine it. :D This is inspired by a headcanon of mine about Erik's goal that won't stop bugging me, as if it was begging to be written. XD Anyway, this is for the lovely Dortmundbvbbabe, who has vowed to go down with this ship with me. It's also for you, all my fellow Durmann shippers; let's count down the days where Jonas will be back to us again. :)

The euphoria is still running through Erik’s veins. His first Bundesliga goal, as a defender. It’s a big deal, considering he’s not playing as a striker anymore. It still feels surreal, even now as he’s walking out of the pitch after the match ends. Some hands pat on his head, some on his back, and his shoulder. He has heard countless voices say “Congratulations!” Some of them are saying it at the same time, and he loses count on whose voice he currently hears.

He should have run to the fans; now that he thinks about it. But, well maybe he’ll do it the next time he scores at home. Entering the changing room, Erik smiles brightly at Neven, who ruffles his hair once more before heading to his locker. The first thing Erik does is checking his phone for messages. There are about ten messages, and as he scrolls down to read the senders, his smile begins to falter.

There are no messages from Jonas.

Disappointment begins to creep through him. He knows Jonas was watching the match, so why didn’t he text him? He must know that it matters to Erik. Especially because Jonas wasn’t there on the pitch with him. Does it mean that he’s not as important to Jonas as he thought…? That his first Bundesliga goal isn’t a big deal?

Okay, he must not feel down already. Today is a day to remember, he’s not going to let his mood ruin it. Perhaps Jonas is busy, and he’ll text him later. Erik grabs a towel from his locker and walks to the shower.

His relationship with Jonas is… what people probably will call _complicated_. They both know that they have strong feelings towards each other, a lot deeper than a normal friendship. There were quite a few occasions where they were so close to crossing the line; like how he hugged Jonas and kissed his neck after the brunet scored against Bayern (their teammates teased him for weeks about how he only had eyes on Jonas) and several kisses here and there (only when they were wasted, and then they acted like nothing had happened when they sobered up). Yet they are still not more than friends, too afraid to do anything that can ruin their friendship. And Erik always feels as though his feelings for Jonas are deeper than Jonas’s feelings for him.

So, what are they then? Are they what people call… _almost lovers_?

Days passed and nothing has changed between them. Not even with Jonas being loaned to Mainz. When Erik heard about it from Mats, he rushed to find Jonas, surprising the brunet.

“Can’t you say no?” Erik told him as soon as he saw Jonas in the changing room, alone. “You love BVB. You want to play for BVB. I don’t get it.”

Jonas looked at him for a long time with his blue eyes. The blue eyes Erik can stare at for hours. “I just want to _play._ Mainz offered me a place in their first team, something I can’t get here at the moment,” he said solemnly, letting out a smile. “Try to understand. If you were in my place, you would do the same.”

Erik understood it full well, but the more selfish part of him didn’t want Jonas to leave. For a moment neither of them said anything. Jonas reached out to stroke Erik’s hair. “It’s only for a year. I’ll be back before you know it,” he said reassuringly, breaking the silence. Erik had no other choice but to nod, half-heartedly.

Now in the shower, many months later, Erik still wonders if Jonas means to him more than he means to the other boy.

~*~

“Come on, mate, stop checking your phone,” Zlatan jokingly tells him for the third time that evening. Erik’s teammates have managed to convince him to have dinner with them at Vapiano, and then go to a club later. And whilst Erik does try his best to have fun, the thought about Jonas never leaves his mind.

He sees his friends one by one post something about him on their social media account and he can’t help but smile. How nice of them. Well, he has checked on Jonas’s Facebook a few times to see if he has posted something, but nope, he hasn’t. Feeling annoyed at himself for caring too much, Erik shoves his phone back into his trousers’ pocket and is determined to not check it again for the rest of the night.

Isn’t it ironic that Jonas is always on his mind; regardless of he’s being there or not?

~*~

Erik arrives at his flat at a bit over two AM, exhausted and still very much sober. The whole evening was fun, and he was able to actually have fun with the guys. But as soon as he enters his flat the stillness there envelopes him, and his joy slowly evaporates, being gradually replaced by a familiar, nagging restlessness. He places his phone on the nightstand, trying not to look at it. And then he strips from his clothes, leaving only his boxers on and walking to the bathroom.

Just as he’s about to turn on the tap, he hears a sound from his bedroom. It’s his phone. _Don’t be too excited,_ he warns himself, _it can be anyone._ But as he strides back to his room in quick steps he can’t suppress the hope that this time, it’s the voice that he wants to hear.

His face breaks into a smile as he sees the name on the screen. “Jonas,” Erik says, can’t quite conceal the longing in his voice.

“Hi there,” Jonas says softly. “I hope you haven’t slept.”

Erik reflexively shakes his head, even though Jonas can’t see it. “No, I just got home. I was at iRoom with the guys.”

He hears Jonas chuckle. “I know. I asked Matze. He said you left about half an hour ago. So, I reckoned you must already be home by now,” Jonas says.

“Why didn’t you call me before?”

“I want to talk to you when you’re alone,” Jonas replies, making Erik’s heart skip a beat, or two. “It feels more private.” Erik doesn’t say anything, so Jonas goes on, “I saw your goal. Congratulations, it was an awesome goal.”

“Thanks,” Erik says. And without thinking, he blurts out, “I’ve been waiting for you to text or call me all evening. I even checked your Facebook to see if you had posted anything. But you hadn’t. I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.”

“What?” Jonas sounds taken aback. “How could you think so?”

Erik clutches his phone tighter, taking a deep breath. “What are we, Jonas?” he asks, after a long second of silence. “Don’t give me that ‘we’re best friends’ bullshit because we’re not. You know we’re not,” he pauses. “We are… more than that.”

Now it’s Jonas’s turn to be silent. When he finally speaks again, his voice sounds a bit different. The difference is subtle, but Erik can still hear it. “Erik, you mean a lot to me,” he starts. “Don’t doubt that. Please.” It’s as if he’s pleading.

“I want to see you, Jonas,” Erik says, almost desperately. The last time he saw Jonas was weeks ago, when he went to Mainz, and it already feels too long.

“Soon,” Jonas replies in a gentle voice, close to a whisper. “Trust me.”

Erik smiles, once again nods his head. It sounds like a promise, and he believes him. “Okay.”

~* ~

“Well, how many people are there?” Erik asks as he walks with Matthias. The younger boy said there will be some people gather at his place for Erik’s birthday.

Matthias shrugs. “Just a few.” Earlier in the training ground, people have congratulated him and sung Birthday songs for him—some even managed to pour a Diet Coke over his head. Then Matthias told him that they would celebrate his birthday with a few friends. Erik can already guess who those few people are, so he expects no surprise.

Erik smiles as he sees familiar faces the moment they open the door. There are Julian, Philipp and a few of his friends from home. They say happy birthday to him, and usher him directly to the table where the food is.

There are seven people in the room, yet there are eight plates. “Why are there eight plates?” he voices his curiosity.

“Because there are eight of us,” Philipp says, with a grin. “Where is Jonas?”

Someone replies, but Erik misses it. He already stops listening the moment Philipp mentions Jonas’s name. “Jonas is here?” he asks.

“Of course,” Erik hears a familiar voice, and he instinctively turns to look at the boy who’s standing near the wall, a glass of Coke in his hand.

Erik stares at Jonas until someone pats his back, and people begin to eat. Food is the last thing on Erik’s mind right now, especially with Jonas sits beside him, and their arms brush every now and then. When Matthias asks him if he likes the food, he merely nods. Then his eyes meet Jonas’s, and he knows that the other boy knows, that Erik only wants to be alone with him.

It feels as though his friends will never stop eating. When they are finally done, Erik almost breathes in relief. He and Jonas help Matthias to clean the table, putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

“I’ll just see if people want more to drink,” Matthias says, with a smile, leaving Erik alone with Jonas in the kitchen, although he still has time to shoot Erik a knowing glance. Good old Matze.

Now they’re alone, and Erik isn’t sure of what to say. Jonas seems to know that, because he smiles and says, “Happy Birthday.”

His smile is so contagious that Erik can’t help but smile, too. “Thank you for coming here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Before he can stop himself, Erik steps forward and wraps his arms around Jonas, burying his fingers in his dark hair. It feels good, and comforting, and he misses it so much. “Tell me, Jonas… If you don’t feel the same way about me. Just tell me now.” He needs to know; he’s tired of questioning Jonas’s feelings, tired of hoping they can be something more than almost lovers.

Erik can feel Jonas’s arms around him tighten a little. “How can you think I don’t feel the same way about you? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me before?” Erik asks incredulously, pulling back, looking into Jonas’s eyes.

Jonas’s voice is gentle when he speaks, with a tinge of sadness, “Because I thought a lot of things could happen in one year. You could meet someone you really liked, or so could I. And there was always a chance that I—“ he pauses for a second. “That I wouldn’t be back; considering our records for players on loan. As much as I wanted to be selfish, I couldn’t do that to you.”

“But you’ll be back for sure,” Erik says. “And even if you wouldn’t, I don’t see a problem. We’ll make it work somehow.”

“Erik,” Jonas says with a sigh, but Erik cuts him off.

“Give us a chance, Jonas.” And then he adds, “Please?”

Jonas looks at him, and for a second Erik fears that he’ll say no. But then he slowly nods, lifting a hand to caress Erik’s face. Erik covers Jonas’s hand with his, closing his eyes as Jonas leans forward and presses his lips against Erik’s.

Erik has thought about their previous kisses many times before, but their drunken kisses feel nothing like this one; nowhere near as good, as compelling. When Jonas’s tongue brushes against his, Erik can’t suppress a gentle moan in the back of his throat.

A voice from outside surprises them, making them part. “Are you guys not done making out yet? It’s time for the birthday boy to open his presents.” Erik recognises the voice as Julian’s.

“Come on,” Jonas says with a smile.

“You’ll come home with me, right?” Erik abruptly asks. He’s not ready to see Jonas leave again so soon.

“Of course.”

Erik smiles in relief. And then they enter the living room together, where their friends are waiting for Erik to open his presents. Erik’s eyes meet Matthias’s and he gives the younger boy a discreet smile, wordlessly thanking him for everything. Matthias’s smile tells Erik that he understands.

After he’s done opening all his presents (Jonas’s present is a beautiful watch, whilst Matthias’s is a pair of sunglasses), they resume the party, where some are playing FIFA, and some others are talking. How they can hear each other in this music, Erik doesn’t know. Once or twice he lets his gaze linger on Jonas as the brunet talks to Matthias near the window.

He can’t wait until he and Jonas get home, where Erik can have him for himself. But for now, he’ll try his best to enjoy this party. And what a birthday. First he got his first Bundesliga goal, and today he got what he desires the most.

Erik couldn’t ask for more.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not as fluffy as I initially wanted it to be, but well, that's just how I write, I guess... Anyway, I hope you like it. :)


End file.
